Parenting without family nearby is hard. Doing it as an LGBTIQA+ family, while navigating IVF, pronouns and social assumptions? That’s where the Rainbow Connections Playgroup steps in.
When Kate and Tess moved back to South Australia in 2022, they were preparing to welcome their first child and knew they needed more support than their small, rural New Zealand town could offer.
Adelaide promised a better safety net, more services, and a greater chance of finding a community that understood their family.
They needed connection. Support. Practical help – especially once Kate became pregnant too, just five months after Tess. Suddenly, they were facing the chaos of raising two newborns, far from the hands-on family support many new parents rely on.
That’s where Rainbow Connections came in.
“We were looking for people who’d been through similar things,” Kate says. “And what we found was this whole community who just got it.”
What is Rainbow Connections?
The Rainbow Connections Playgroups run weekly across five metro locations and are open to LGBTIQA+ parents and carers with children under five.
They’re facilitated by Pink Parents Adelaide, the city’s largest and oldest community for rainbow families, thanks to funding from the Department of Human Services.
They’re free. They’re inclusive. And they’re exactly the kind of safe, affirming space Kate and Tess didn’t even know they needed – until they had it.
“I was desperate for things to do with Asa – they were the kind of baby who wanted to get out for two hours a day,” Kate says.
She remembers feeling both nervous and hopeful when she drove half an hour with a tiny baby in the car, while pregnant, to a group she’d never been to with people she didn’t know. “It was terrifying,” she says. “But it was definitely worth it.”
It took a few sessions to feel truly at home, but the warmth and support were there from the beginning.
“I was pregnant and trying to figure out who was going to look after Asa while I gave birth. And people were just like, ‘I will! Of course I will!’ It was amazing.”
As she settled in, the playgroup became a lifeline. “I was going to playgroup four days a week at one point, just to survive,” Kate says. “It was the only real adult interaction I was getting.”
Gender creative parenting, and building family your own way
Kate and Tess are parenting three young children – Asa (2½), Lou (2) and Ren (5 months) – in a way that challenges norms. Their kids use they/them pronouns for now, part of an approach called gender creative parenting.
“It’s about giving them the space to figure out who they are, rather than telling them,” Tess explains. “Babies don’t need gendered expectations. We just want them to be themselves.”
That sense of freedom and safety carries over into Rainbow Connections.
“It’s not just about toys and snacks,” says Kate. “It’s a space where you can talk openly – about IVF, navigating the healthcare system, or just being a different kind of family.”
“The conversations get deep really quickly,” adds Tess. “You’re with people who understand things others might never have had to think about.”
Progress and pushback
While Kate and Tess feel lucky to be raising their children in a supportive community, they’re mindful that LGBTIQA+ families today are navigating a landscape that’s still evolving.
“There’s definitely still backlash out there,” says Tess. “But if I think about where my mum was at my age, it puts things into perspective. Back then, I wouldn’t have been able to be married to my wife, or support my family financially as a woman. That kind of life just wasn’t legally or socially available.”
She says it’s easy to focus on the negative – but important to recognise the change, too. “We exist. We’re out. We’re not forced to hide our families anymore. That matters.”
And she’s optimistic about the next generation. “Kids today are growing up with a different cultural narrative. There’s more openness, more diversity, and more support. We see it in the kids, and we see it in the parents.”
A space for parents, too
At Rainbow Connections, the tea is hot, the chats are real, and the space is for everyone – not just the kids. “Baby sensory and music groups are great,” Tess says, “but what about the parents?”
The families who attend Rainbow Connections are diverse – two-mum households, trans parents, foster carers, single parents, and more. It’s a space designed to reflect that diversity and ensure every family feels seen.
“It’s a space where we don’t have to explain ourselves,” Tess adds. “No one’s asking intrusive questions or acting like our family is some kind of curiosity. We can just be.”
“It’s relaxing and freeing for us. But for some people, it’s critical. There are people who come from really traumatic backgrounds, who’ve had to hide who they are. For them, this kind of space isn’t just nice – it’s necessary.”
Found family and future dreams
Today, Rainbow Connections is a core part of the family’s week. It’s the place the kids have made best friends – like the child Asa met at just eight weeks old; the two are now inseparable huggers.
“It’s really special to have those long-term friendships for the kids,” Kate says. “Especially when we don’t have cousins or big extended family close by.”
“I’d even encourage people who aren’t parents yet – who are thinking about starting a family – to come along,” she adds. “It’s such a supportive space.”
The benefits haven’t just been social. Rainbow Connections has also inspired Kate to study early childhood education.
“I’m training to become a kindy teacher now,” she says. “And that decision definitely grew out of the playgroup. I saw how much it brings people together, how much it matters – I guess I wanted to be part of that.”
Want to know more?
You can learn more about the Rainbow Connections Playgroups at Pink Parents Adelaide or Adults Supporting Kids. Playgroups run weekly in Plympton, Mount Barker, Renown Park, Ingle Farm and Smithfield Plains.
To access more parenting support and services in your local area, connect with your local Community Development Coordinator.
