A grieving dad has welcomed a South Australian-led push to take a stand on social media for kids, saying they could have helped his son, who took his own life after he was sexually extorted online.
Wayne Holdsworth’s son Mac was just 16 when his world turned upside down after he was sexually extorted on social media.
“In just 30 minutes, a young woman, who he thought was 18, had shared a nude photo of herself with her face, and he had shared a nude photo of himself with his face,” he says.
“And within that same 30 minutes, he was hacked, and the terrorist had access to his address list and proved that, and within 30 minutes, had asked him for $500 and he paid him $500 and that wasn’t enough.
“He called again and said he wanted another $500 and that’s when Mac came to me and I put my arms around him and told him he was the victim. But he was never the same again.
“The photos were shared, they were shared to his friends, and I even saw them, I was part of his contact list. And he was ashamed, and he was never the same boy.
“Can you imagine a young boy, leader of a football club, having to go to footy training the next night and knowing that everyone had seen the photo?”
Just a year later, Mac took his life in his family home.
“The shock, the pain, the disbelief and the helplessness wracked me emotionally and physically… Our whole family changed that day. I was broken. We were broken.”
Speaking out at Social Media Summit
Wayne opened up about his heartbreak at a Social Media Summit on 11 October at the Adelaide Convention Centre, jointly hosted by the SA and NSW state governments.
More than 550 people attended the event, which looked at the impact of social media on the lives of individuals, particularly children, and society in general. Wayne welcomed the push to regulate social media for children across the state – and the nation.
“I simply do not want another parent to go through what I did, because it is soul and heart destroying,” says Wayne.
“Without a doubt, if these regulations had been in place when Mac was going through his extortion, then that (his suicide) would not have occurred, and quite likely he would be with us today.
“I think being able to rely on a law will help parents significantly. Just like when kids get in the car and they have to put a safety belt on, it takes the pressure off the parents and helps them manage it.
“I have a grandson, he’s one and a half, and another one on the way. I want them living in an environment where they’re safe, because right at the moment, five-year-old boys can have access to violent pornography, and that’s not safe.”
Mum also backs social media ban
His thoughts are echoed by Sonya Ryan, whose daughter, Carly, was killed by an online predator when she was murdered in Port Elliot in 2007.
“It makes me feel really hopeful in the future for our children, and it makes me feel emotional in the sense that we are going to literally prevent children from suffering,” Sonya, who started the Carly Ryan Foundation in her daughter’s honour to promote internet safety, says.
“I’m just so heartened that the South Australian Government, of Carly’s home state, is taking the lead on this. I’m so grateful that both the state and the federal government are hearing us, that they are understanding the scope and urgency of this problem and actually taking action.”
Sonya says social media platforms continue to leave young people vulnerable to a world of bullying, criminal contact, predatory contact and sextortion.
“The result of all of this is a generation of highly anxious children with serious mental health issues.
“And, of course, worst case scenario, what happened to my daughter, Carly, being murdered by an online predator who essentially falsified his identity in order to manipulate and groom her.”
So, what’s this ban about?
In May, the SA Government announced its intention to explore ways to keep under-14s off social media and require parental consent for 14- and 15-year-olds. This move was prompted by growing concerns from experts, educators, and parents about the potential negative impacts of social media on children’s mental health and development.
Fast forward to September, and the state government released a groundbreaking 276-page report by the Honourable Robert French AC, former Chief Justice of the High Court. The French Report outlines a potential legislative framework to address these concerns, including:
- Preventing access to social media platforms for under-14s
- Requiring parental consent for 14 and 15-year-olds to use social media platforms
- Making social media companies responsible for blocking children from accessing their platforms
- Setting up a watchdog to keep these companies in line – with some hefty fines if they don’t comply and legal action if they cause children harm
This plan has now been endorsed by the Federal Government, and they’ve committed to introducing national legislation informed by the French report to ban social media for children before the end of the year.
The SA Government will also introduce a new curriculum into local schools, teaching students about online safety, cyberbullying, body image, mental health and wellbeing.
Mobiles out, safety in: Find out how SA’s phone ban is transforming schools
Time to ‘slay the monsters’
Leading US psychologist Dr Jonathan Haidt, author of best-selling book The Anxious Generation, welcomes Australia’s social media ban.
Speaking via video link at SA’s Social Media Summit, he says Australia is “cleaning up the mess that America made for the world”.
Dr Haidt says in the early days of social media, the United States passed laws that “created monsters” because they allowed social media platforms to operate without responsibility.
“Now, we need you to slay them – or at least tame them,” he says.
“Half of America’s teens say they are now online almost all the time. Compared to previous generations, they have far more depression, anxiety and are more likely to have suicidal tendencies.
“I am thrilled to see that SA is taking a lead on this.”
The impact on body image
Flinders University’s Dr Simon Wilksch agrees with Dr Haidt, and wants to see the social media minimum age raised to 16 nationally. As the Clinic Director of Advanced Psychology Services and Senior Research Fellow in Psychology, he has focused his research on eating disorders.
“My own research has found increased time on Snapchat and Instagram for 11-14 year-old girls is linked with higher levels of disordered eating behaviours,” he says.
“In my clinic we regularly hear of the unhelpful experiences that young people have on social media – both in contributing to the onset of the eating disorder, as well as making it harder to recover.
“I absolutely believe that increasing minimum age will have a helpful impact on young people’s psychological development.”
Listen to more of the speakers from South Australia’s Social Media Summit here.
Are you struggling or do you know someone who is? Help is available at:
Beyond Blue: 1300 22 46 36
LifeLine: 13 11 14
Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800
SA mental health services register
Wayne Holdsworth has set up a sucicide prevention charity, SmackTalk, in his son’s honour: https://smacktalk.com.au/
Sonya Ryan is the founder of the Carly Ryan Foundation, which works to create positive experiences online for children, teens and young adults: https://www.carlyryanfoundation.com/
